You Can Dish It Out .. But ..

January 28, 2018

 

Excerpt From .. (Not whole pages)

A common pattern with difficult people (especially the aggressive types) is that they like to place attention on you to make you feel uncomfortable or inadequate.  They love to point out that there is something not right with you or the way you do things.  The focus is consistently on "what's wrong" instead of "how to solve the problem".  This type of communication is often intended to dominate and control, rather than to sincerely take care of issues.  If you react by being on the defensive, you simply fall in the trap of being scrutinized, thereby giving the aggressor more power while the person picks on you with impunity.

 

What do you do if the person doesn't like the taste of the medicine received back after being dished out?  I am amused at a situation I am currently dealing where threats and combativeness happen on a near every day basis.  In good humor, I simply show the public how silly the person is in their own compositions and writings.  Why not?  This person's obsession is beyond normal and living in such negativity for so long has taken its toll.  The contradictions and exaggerations must be horrid to keep up with. The black cloud must bear heaviness and unhappiness.  There is nothing I can do that will convince this person that she just needs to let go.   A typical attitude of "its okay for me to do it" but "don't do it to me" just isn't working any more. 

 

The attacks are repetitive; nothing new, most very old news.  I have to laugh when it was said that our "court case" went back more than 30 years.  No, it is only about what is believed in the mind of someone who can't get past the past.  Constant chaos is the way of living for her and life cannot be lived without drama and in the attitude of superiority and perfection over others.  I will admit that I have made serious mistakes in the course of my life, but I do not need someone, especially a stranger, to remind me of them on a daily basis.  Not without taking responsibility for the mistakes that they have made as well.  And make sure to include all of the facts; not pick and choose just the ones that make the perpetrator look better than the person being attacked.   Another way of putting this is that this person is susceptible to criticism because it endangers their frail sense of internal validation, she takes great pains to devalue and invalidate the person she is attacking. To achieve such, she will do everything possible to make sure that her victim is degraded and humiliated.  But now that her position is being exposed as false, arbitrary, and untenable, she will become evasive, articulate half-truths, and flat out contradict herself.  It is causing an emotional crisis and level of immaturity in her.  For me, it is a small victory.  Maybe I should not reference it as such, but validation that what has been placed on the internet can be false and misleading. I am grateful to those who have believed in us and stood by us.  It is beginning to pay off in our persistence and fortitude.  We can only be devalued if we allow it.

 

The monumental happening in all of this is that we have movement forward; tomorrow is a wonderful new day filled with the beautiful and the wonder.  I am grateful for the blessing of my day that was better today than yesterday and my tomorrow is spotless, ready for my positive movement forward.

 

Copyright © 2018 by CandaLee Parker

 

All rights reserved. This blog or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher, CandaLee Parker, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or similar cited with author's name and copyright.

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