This morning I had a telephone call from a woman in a similar experience as mine. She is contemplating civil action against another woman for harassment, defamation, slander, stalking, and bullying. The laws in her State are a bit more current so she will have an easier time of it than I have had. We talked about my experience and agreed to talk again. This makes the fifth telephone call I have had since beginning this journey of prosecution against my woman adult bully.
We hear about anti-bullying campaigns everywhere and one would think that such attacks would stop when we have graduated from high school. Let's talk seriously, we all have been in situations when someone has said something so outrageous and mean-spirited that it caught us off guard and later hoped that we would not be the next person attacked. I believe that is why an adult bully, especially a woman, can be so effective it their attacks; the behavior is out of character for what we would believe to be a "lady". Yes, we have all been caught talking behind someone's back but in general we try to be polite to all we meet. When someone breaks the social rule of backstabbing, we are often so shocked that we do nothing. We are not programmed to make scenes; we are programmed to avoid them. It is this shock factor that allows a bully to get what they want; just that, shock. A bully may not realize that she is a pretentious jerk although I believe at this point of long-term attacks, she does not care. She has an inflated sense of self-worth that she must keep at all costs. So, maybe we need a refresher course about bullying for adults.
You are being bullied if someone constantly demeans you or uses the internet as a battlefield to destroy your reputation. You are being bullied is someone is constantly yelling at you or criticizing you. You are being bullied if someone deliberately is attempting to isolate you in social or work situations. You are being bullied if you are being shamed or degraded or private secrets revealed to others in an attempt to cause shame or guilt.
In doing my research, I am finding that woman adult bullies tend to be older, especially in families. They think they have the right to tell other people how to live their lives and demand things a certain way. We may tolerate it, try to keep peace, in case something said may cause a negative outburst. We try to placate or distract this person so that nothing bad happens.
The determining factor that someone is a bully is that if you call them out, they retaliate, putting the blame back on you. Even if you try to please this person, you never will. Our bully thrives on instilling fear. Meet one demand and she will come up with another. Believe me, there is no law that states you need to sit and be insulted. If more of us stood up against our bullies, they would lose their shock power. The shock factor would turn to our side. This is my goal as I stand against my bully. I will no longer stay down and shrink from her humiliation and pain. She will be revealed.
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