Much time and effort are spent trying to discover what motivates a person to bully others, especially in childhood, where this type of behavior usually begins. On-the-spot amateur psychology, however, probably won’t spare you any hurt when a bully comes to call. Remember that, if you find yourself the victim of bullying, a bully’s bad behavior is entirely his or her responsibility, not yours, no matter what the bully may tell you. Compassion has an important role in rooting out the causes of bullying, but in practical terms, it is unproductive to waste time trying to ‘mend’ a bully, or ‘understand’ how he or she came to enjoy such cruel behavior, whilst you are being made a victim. When faced with a bully, your responsibility is to protect yourself from the emotional, social, or physical harm that the bully intends to cause.
In spotting a bully, frequently, bullying behavior is obvious, even if the victim feels he or she can do nothing about it. Physical, verbal or sexual assaults are hard to mistake. But identifying someone as a bully is not always as easy as it sounds. The cruelty meted out by bullies can be subtle, insidious, and cloaked in the most plausible of disguises. If you know someone, perhaps even someone you love and respect, who usually leaves you feeling worse for having been in his or her company (even if you can’t put your finger on the exact reason), you may be the victim of bullying. It is well worth examining the situation closely to find out.
When someone is bullying you, it is unlikely that there is anything you can say or do to make the bully feel like being nice to you. The best strategy is to change how you respond to the bullying behavior. Bullying behavior cannot continue to have its desired effect if the intended victim successfully stands up to the bully. Once you have identified a bully and know what to expect from him or her, you must choose not to be a victim, if you want the bullying to stop. Expose the bullying for what it is. Take a stand, and don’t back down .. My husband and I have hired authorities to take care of our situation and in some ways, this may be the only answer in taking a stand.
The anguish, fear, and dread a bully is trying to make his or her victim feel can get in the way of a successful defense for the victim. Bullies tend not to pick on those who can fend for themselves; a bully’s enjoyment depends on a victims’ inability (or unwillingness) to fight back. Most bullies are careful to do their bullying when no witnesses are about. Making a creditable complaint against a bully who is generally liked, admired, or respected for some position of authority, can be extremely difficult, and possibly hazardous, for the victim. If you are a bully’s victim, and you perceive, for whatever reason, that you cannot defend yourself, all is not lost. Again, find professionals to help assist you in taking a stand.