Adult Bully Compassion

August 5, 2018

You, with your switching sides,
And your walk by lies and your humiliation
You, have pointed out my flaws again,
As if I don’t already see them.
I walk with my head down,
Trying to block you out cause I’ll never impress you….
                          —Taylor Swift, “Mean”


I have been struggling with my emotions and reactions when dealing with people who are just vicious and mean.  This hostility is directed at me.  I have learned much of what I need to do ..


See it for what it is; the person attacking me as a twisted soul and self-destructive.  It is the coward inside of her that knots her heart until she cannot function in the real world and works to recruit those who seem to be as sad and non-functioning as she is.   Her addictions take over her sense of reality and I have come to acknowledge such.  As a close friend who knows her commented, "you have to feel very sorry for her, hers is a very lonely existence".  When I think of her world and my world, I get it.  It may not make it feel better, but it makes it livable. 


Be willing to accept the unpleasant emotions from the attacks and let them wash over me knowing that each attack will pass.  From each attack, I obtain new strength and courage.  I understand that the torment will follow me; family members will be contacted, friends will be called, employment will be emailed, background checks will be forwarded because this person feels entitled to be a gossip, a whiner, and a tattle tale.  So be it .. This is the true character that emerges from her.


Accept the fact that not everyone will like me for whatever reason and just stay away from them.   I have spent too much of my life trying to be the person that I thought everyone else wanted me to be.  No more and I am having the best time.   I have wonderful friends that have made similar mistakes, enjoy the same activities, and have zero tolerance for drama.  We empathize with failure and encourage success.


We can control our response when someone does or says or writes something mean.  We may not be able to control much about our life circumstances, but with practice we can control how we respond to those circumstances.  When my bully wishes and acts upon her emotions to spread documents or gossip about me, I can politely wish her well in her negative endeavors and lift her up in prayer and forgiveness.  We will all have to stand in front of our God one day and give reasons for our actions.  He will be the final judge; she is not.

Remember that you can control your response when someone does or says something mean. We may not be able to control much about our life circumstances, but with practice we can control how we respond to those circumstances.



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