One day while reading, I came across this quote by Thomas Carlyle, “Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with ..” What a profound quote. The last eight months have been a struggle; I have pulled from strength reserves I did not know that I had. Or do I know?
The Savior calls his followers to emulate the characteristics of children, to become “as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things, which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (Mosiah 3:19). Faith is the foundation upon which godlike, child-like characteristic is built. In my studies, I have found that this is the prerequisite for all of the other Christlike attributes. Even as the faith of a child. This has been a difficult attribute for me to work on. Trust is not easy for me and trusting an unseen power can be even more difficult. My prayer life has helped to increase this trust factor and scripture study even more as it has let me understand that others have had the same trials and overcome adversity.
Another attribute which I have learned much about this year is temperance. A part of divine nature. This means that I am restrained in my emotions and verbal expressions. I do things in moderation and I am not given to overindulgence. In two words; self-control. I am the master of my emotions and not the other way around. I tend to overwork; I tend to over-clean especially when upset or challenged. I have learned to have a bit more faith that the day will work out and not do me in.
An important attribute is patience; patience is composure under stress. A patient woman is understanding of one’s faults including her own. This is very difficult at times. It takes great faith to move forward when I feel that all is lost. Faith that there is a reserve of strength to move mountains in the moment of an earthquake. What I have learned about myself is that is the power of prayer mixed with faith in the moment brings comfort and peace even though the outcome might not be what I may have wanted.
“Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God”. I have learned that I must have a real relationship with my Savior before I can be of help to others. Those who witness for Christ, share their faith with their friends and serve others in the name of Christ are ambassadors for peace. I have become a better peacemaker by taking baby steps in my trust, using prayer for comfort and healing and serving my fellow classmates with love and concern. This has not been an easy task for me and at times bitterness regards to situations in my life set in. Instead of brooding, I have been able to shake off the feelings and replace with gratitude. I understand where the feelings of inadequacy are coming from now more than ever. The more I work on godlike characteristics, the more opposition I feel. Patience is composure under stress. While composed, I find myself thinking rationally; temperance. Isn’t it amazing how it all comes together?
I am sure if I had not started back to college, I would not have been able to carry through all that I have been dealing with. One never expects a critical illness to totally devastate a family, but it can. We have learned to live in peace even though each day brings a new challenge. I am grateful that I followed the prompting that had stuck with me for so many months before beginning this new path; a new journey. Maybe the most important aspect that I have learned is that a patient woman waits on the Lord. In obedience, we seek blessings from the Lord and then we grow impatient when it does not come to us when we expect it to. Part of the divine nature is to trust, to have faith in the Lord enough to “be still and know that He is God” (D&C 101:16). This has become one of the most important scriptures to me. To have faith that the Lord will come through in the way that is best for me and my family. It is working.