How To Deal With Mean People

April 13, 2019




When I hear this song, I think I am emotional because it tells of a kid succeeding despite difficulty. We have a bully, an adult woman who should know better. At first, we attempted avoidance in dealing with unkindness, ignore at all costs, helping she would go away. Sometimes this strategy is neither practical or effective. Fortunately, there are better responses and there are ways of coping against the attacks of a bully. It is important to control the responses when someone does or says something mean. We may not be able to control much of our life circumstance, but, with practice, we an control how we respond to those circumstances. Even though our bully appears high-functioning to the outside world, she is unstable.  Her posts of degradation are sloppy, immature, and ugly.


Often we do not want to admit that we are hurt by another person's meanness; we want to let it go without letting it get to us. If we can do this, we are ahead! For awhile, I could. Her battle against us is relentless. We practice self-compassion; we see our bully for the wounded, tiny, and probably threatened. She is a frightened mouse masquerading as a roaring lion.


Fight the fire by sending out loving thoughts to the person or persons that hurt you. Saying a prayer for her makes us feel better and protected. After all, if she was free from her pain and agony, she would stop her harassment.  We do not need to be the doormat of her insecurities and pain.  The most effective response to meanness is compassion.  Where there is meanness, there is a lot of pain, both in the unkind person and for the person on the receiving end of the harassment.





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