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When Hate Doesn't Work

Today was a beautiful Saturday filled with love, laughter, and hard work. Spring is here! I have starts in my garage ready for the warmth of soil and the heat of the sun. We have had to delay planting for a while due to cold temperatures and rain. I arise early on Saturdays and start the laundry. Beds need sheets changed, animals need kennel blankets washed, feed bowl and water bowls are run through the dishwasher to heat and sanitize, bathrooms to be cleaned, and vacuuming. I love the feel of a clean home! Clean stalls, clean water buckets, and grain bins refilled. As I settled into some bookkeeping, I was reminded by a friend that my wonderful bully friend was busy at work on the internet.

Women who project body hatred onto other women unknowingly encourage girls and woman who bully another. I wonder what sort of example she is giving to others in her harassment and slander? If I was her child, I would be embarrassed. Early in puberty, girls may begin to look at one another in an acutely competitive and judgmental manner. This is to feel a form of control over another. The cost of this tactic is high because harsh judgment and cruelty towards another woman is inherently linked to relentless self-scrutiny and panic should one's own flaws be attacked. This is a common tactic for my woman bully as she loves to continue in her revelation of my past mistakes and her attacks are strong through social media and other avenues. She has gained control of my personal information such as social security numbers to acquire such and share with others. My husband's medical bills and medical conditions have been spread to everyone she can. She has paid for background reports yet claims poverty to pay for court fees necessitated when we have to take her into a court of law. Her deep-seeded need to claim victim and exaggerate fact is common and we understand her dilemma.

Thankfully, the result of abusive behavior by this type of woman falls short of suicide, even though our woman bully faked her own suicide in order to bring attention to her. Many suffer its consequences in intense emotional pain. The more women can stay connected with their actual experiences and less with the rigid expectation of others, the greater their empathy and compassion for other women who may be bound by these same rigid expectations. No one deserves to be stalked and harassed because another person thinks they are superior and the expectation of ownership. When hate doesn't work, our bully has resorted to revenge. She cannot help herself and it will continue because she can. There is power in being strong and keeping a positive attitude.

When I think of the blessings in my life like having my former employer call and ask me to return for the summer because I was a great asset, this is what is important. She did not take this from me; she cannot do what I do. There is no common ground for us because she continues to live in the past and suffer while I am promoting a beautiful and successful life. When my sales and relationships are blooming with hard work and a tenacious spirit. As I care for my husband and stay devoted to him, making sure his needs are taken care of during his illness, there is no comparison. As I care for aging parents who appreciate that I am there for them and serve them as a daughter of God. She cannot not take this from me by stupid words across her social media page that is turning others from her because they understand that she not using clear judgment and no longer care to be involved.

Hate does not work unless we allow it in to our lives. We have a right to empowerment. We have a right to speak and defend ourselves and others who are experiencing the same pain. It is our right; it is my right.