Over the past months, I have had serious conversations with persons who I have been close to for a long time. Truth be told, they were tough conversations. I have learned that even though I was told I was loved and appreciated, I was not by persons who should have had my back and who should have been true friends. It was a ruse to use all that was known could be given and played upon my gentle and caring nature and abundance of talents that could save them the monies they needed to save for other persons thought to be more important.
I have learned that there are signs and red flags that should have gone off. I was told by my husband that there were there but I did not believe him because I believed in what I thought to be persons of decency, honesty, loyalty, family, and friend. I know now that they cannot tolerate exposure, rejections, humiliations, criticism, or their skeletons of the past being revealed so it has to be turned on the person that finds out their true character. I have moved away as quietly as I can, with love, determination, and resolve that this will never happen to me again.
Be careful of those who do not feel empathy or fairness. They will find a way to "get even" or "revenge" upon you. I blame myself for allowing such behavior to demean my self-worth and manipulating me into what they needed from me. It will happen no more. To me, they were no better than the stalker that they make fun of me for. They could not stand to side with truth; only mockery and gossip.
I am grateful in my determination to complete new classes in making me more aware of what actually happened and I wasn't the one with the issues. Oh, I acted like an idiot clown and I played in that horrid three-ring circus but no more.