Overcoming Bad Behavior

January 6, 2020

I love watching the sunrise.  Our world is covered in snow and the sun’s rays glitter across the beautiful fields and colors our surroundings.  It warms my heart and brightens my day!

 

This past week has been a week of realization and courage.  I have had to downplay my thoughts that this is not a world of second changes.  Whatever mistakes that one makes far reach more than the successes.   The mistakes travel far and reaching like a snowball gaining speed on a downhill travel.  Facts are exaggerated, revenge is stated, and the stories become as large as the snowball gaining speed on its downward spiral.

 

Why are there people who wish to squelch one’s desire to move ahead, improve emotionally and intellectually?   Jealously, revenge, self-betrayal?   I was taunted to move ahead in my career and I did.  Yet, a coward decided to contact my new employment and degrade me to my superiors.   Of course, anonymous is a the mark of a coward.  It does not allow one to confront the accuser.  Because of past experience with a stalker and a bully, police reports were completed, and the person who wanted to show power and manipulation will be prosecuted through the legal system.  My boundaries were violated and I will no longer be a mere object of someone’s jealous zeal.  One aspect of a fast moving snowball is that eventually its speed carries them into a hard stop and it shatters far and wide.  So happens to a narcissists who wishes to do harm to another.

 

Human beings are social creatures and need social interaction, positive feedback, and validation of their worth.  Most are happy with the attention they receive through the normal activities of work, school, and play.  There are those persons who need additional attention and they get it by behaving inappropriately.  It could be due to lowered self-esteem, a lack of self-confidence, low levels of self-love or feeling insecure.  Some may seek positive attention by creating situations in which they hope to be praised, thanked or admired.  Some seek out attention by always having something to complain about or by being sick in order to gain attention.  It could be a sign of exhaustion or a reaction to pressure and stress.  If the behavior is persistent more than normal, it can be a sign of an underlying mental health issues.

 

There is an article by Billi Gordon, PhD, in Psychology Today, that asserts that, “Excessive attention seeking is not a character flaw.  It is a brain wiring response to early developmental trauma caused by neglect”.  The article does on to describe attention-seeking in terms of brain function with the conclusion that it cannot be fixed but it can be managed.

Attention-seeking behavior inevitably involved other people.  Collusion is a great word.  Collusion is the secret or illegal cooperation or conspiracy, especially in order to cheat or deceive others.  Misery loves company and a coward needs an army to continue in a war of deceit, manipulation, temper tantrum, tattle telling, and “poor me” melodramas of attention seeking behavior also amounts to bullying.

 

Be the better person taking the higher road of encouragement and compassion.  Dig two graves should one want the lower road of anger and revenge.  Live your own life and make it one of successes to be reported not a reputation of being a bully, a stalker, or worse, a coward.  Because eventually bad acts are revealed and truth prevails.

 

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